When a man can’t look you in the eyes

The simplest and most pronounced example of respect and consideration that we can afford each other as human beings is to make eye contact when we address or meet one another.

It’s straightforward, costs us nothing and shows that we’re not only listening to the other person but also that we mean them no harm.

It’s a guileless thing; something done that we possibly take for granted because we might consider it of little consequence to anyone.  But we would be so wrong if we did because once it stops happening, all we’re personally left with is vague supposition as to why the slight is occurring.

In that event, more times than not the human condition dictates that we wonder just what is it we’ve done on our part that makes this person not want to afford us the most basic of interactions.  We find ourselves cataloging all that’s happened between the two of us recently searching for anything that might have been misconstrued one way or another.

And once we find that there’s nothing there of consequence, all that’s then left behind is the hurt.

“A real grievance can be resolved; differences can be resolved.  But an imaginary hurt, a slight – that motherfucker gonna hate you ‘til the day he dies.”

From the movie – Hoffa

Unfortunately, more times than not, to hate is not an option since such slights can often occur in places where the words colleagues, camaraderie and team are either buzzwords or goals that have gone unachieved.

In that case, the repair of the situation has to be a personal one and come from within.   The injured party must rise above the human need to retaliate and maintain an air of courtesy and professionalism.

On the other hand, it pays to recognize where your trouble may be coming from.  Like other four-legged beasts in the animal kingdom, when a man stops looking you directly in your eyes, he’s either afraid of you or will eventually try to harm you, or both.

In today’s workplace, it behooves us to identify when a coworker feels threatened by us or has it in for us.  It becomes a case of forewarned is foretold.  There’s not a lot to be done about it however; recognition does not bring with it any easy solution to the dilemma.

Still, in a world where petty differences and slights can balloon and take on entirely different meanings, it pays to appreciate when the potential for abuse is about to rear its ugly head.  It that manner, forewarned is truly being foretold.


Filed under jobs & joblessness, Life and Society, Opinion

2 responses to “When a man can’t look you in the eyes

  1. Aspergers sufferers can’t look you in the eyes through no fault of their own. As someone who helps them, I teach them to blur their eyes, so they can’t see yours, or your facial features. So next time someone can’t look at you, stop and think there may be another reason for it. Don’t impose your own standards on others…

  2. Hey frankiekay! Good 2 hear from you and thanks for your comment. You know what? I always do, i try very hard not to rush to any judgement. And if it is a judgement, I usually come down on myself. I’m not talking about someone who’s challenged in some form or another or even someone who’s painfully shy. I’m talking about those peeps who you see that there’s a difference in the way they interact with you as opposed to others. And not saying that everybody has to like each other either. I’m just questioning that reasoning behind those actions and saying that in some instances, there could be something more there. People are always holding a little something of themselves back, wouldn’t you agree? And if that’s so then all I’m saying is that in today’s workplace, it pays to try to discern what’s on your coworkers mind. Don’t you think that’s being prudent? Let me know. Be good and take care…

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