The 80-20 Rule

What is it that makes men cheat on their loved ones?

It’s a question pondered a lot in my house as my wife loves to watch “Cheaters“.  She says she’s just flipping through the channels and simply happens to settle on the show but I know she really gets into it; perhaps too much.

I mean, she starts watching it with a smile on her face but before the commercial cuts, the joy is gone from her visage and she’s calling the man involved in the cheating depicted a dirty lying son-of-a-bitch.

On this particular morning, I’m watching with her during one of their more violent episodes-the wife was whipping her husband’s behind after catching him in the bathtub sans clothing with a much younger woman.

Before the beat down commenced, the TV wife was shown video evidence by the show’s host, Joey Greco-he’s the devil incarnate, I’m sure-and asked in that soft, lulling voice of his, if she wanted to confront her husband and get an explanation.  Well she did and the rest is daytime reality television history.

By now my wife is shouting at the tube, “That’s right!  Whip his ass, bringing that slut into your house!!”  On the other hand, I’m sitting there quietly, letting her fury abate a bit before I venture forth with any kind of sound.

At some point on this particular day, I asked her again, when I thought the time was prudent and after I was assured that we were on solid ground, what makes men cheat?  Of course, she’s thought a lot about it and has developed more than one theory about such indiscretions.  There is one that sticks out that I think she prefers above all the others.  She calls it the”80-20 rule”.

The 80-20 rule states that men tend to leave a good woman, one who cooks for them, loves them and generally takes care of them, their house and kids if any are present, for a another simply because they’re not getting all that they think they want at home.  The rule suggests that instead of being happy with what we have and receive from these women who love and cherish us, we men stray because we see a thong on a nice shapely behind and forget exactly what it is we’re risking.  Just some visual help, no worries.

She goes on to explain that according to the 80-20,  we might not get everything that we want, it may simply be 80% of all that we desire.  Yet, we’ll risk that 80% to get the lascivious 20% that we think we so desperately need.   And make no mistake, 20% is all we’ll get according to my wife because those “20% whores”, as she calls them, aren’t going to cook for you nor clean your home nor nurse your boo-boos when you’re hurting.

As the news breaks that baby boomers are more prone to divorce than their other aged counterparts, I have to think that many of them aren’t familiar with the 80-20.  Nor are they in touch with what I’ve called on occasion, the “Oscar Quotient”; inspired by an older friend of mine who told me something once and I listened because he was in a position to know.  He (Oscar, if you haven’t already guessed) said to me, never ever forget that the best sex you’ll ever have is lying next to you in bed at night.  This came from a man who was having his own marital difficulties.  Like I said, I listened.

So as I’m watching her talk to the television, I can’t help but smile at this little woman who’s been a big part of my life for the past 33 years.  She calls it the 80-20 rule but I call it the Concept of P and Baked Goods. Besides, the 80-20 rule sounds to me a lot like the whole bird in the hand thing but I’ll never say this to her, no sir.

To everyone, have a safe and Merry Christmas!!

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